idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
