Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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