I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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