This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
