idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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