Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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