hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
