Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
