I should be sponsored by Trojan
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Boobs are out for the taking
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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