Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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