No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
