Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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