so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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