im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
