Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Drake has all the answers
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
