there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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