Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
