great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
even my farts smell like vagina
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
