He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize