are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
this just has baby written all over it
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
