; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
