all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize