I CAN MOONWALK!
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
