I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
my poor anus
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize