I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he puts the penis in happiness.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize