I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it because I queefed?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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