and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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