he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
