I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
