never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
