I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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