Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
