so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
