ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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