i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
