I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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