Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
