also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
