I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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