Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
