the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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