I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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