i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
