Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
