Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
