You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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