I'm drive I can fine osifer
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
