It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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