Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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