So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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