And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
