They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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