Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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