You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I am available for nakedness
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
