I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
