I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
