Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize