Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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