the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I look better un-naked...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
