You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize