but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
