i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I am available for nakedness
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize