Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
