Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
