I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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