So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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