The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
