Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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