That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
