just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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