God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
