When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm getting married
To pizza
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
