at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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