I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize